~crookedjon

Jon Crook

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About Me Member Comedy Writer crookedjon17/Male/United Kingdom

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This Bitter town

Chorus Too many leaves are rolling Since the day we blew into town Too many eyes looking from windows
As we search for a way out Locking all our problems away As we watch the night and control the day Oh what a way to make you feel safe In such a peaceful little town Such a normal little town What a bitter little town
Verse We’re gonna leave now To the nearest place that’s far from here You can go back to your porches You can go back to your beer I bet you’re glad now You doubted our good intentions You suspected half-truths and

Newest

Tim Lad part 20Chapter 20 – Obligatory flashbacks

A goat of steam blasted from the cave mouth and a hideous silhouette appeared through the fog. “To hell with this,” groaned Alan the Hooker, “I’ll be unconscious again if anybody needs me.” “This isn’t good,” thought Mally, looking for some kind of escape from the situation, “Come on Mally, think!” The monster strode into the clearing, belching fire. The enormous hairy monstrosity was fearsome to behold. “Mally, I need new underpants!” announced Doc Goodfield. The creature stomped towards Mike and tilted its head to get a better look at him. Mike screamed in Tim Lad part 20
by ~crookedjon

Tim-Lad part 19Chapter 19 - In love and War
Crooky slowly opened his blackened eye just in time to see his captain and Bird tumble into the pit. “Nooooo!” screamed Crooky, leaping to his feet, and swaying a little as the last dregs of the chav-juice wore off. Crooky cautiously made his way to the edge and peered in. The lava continued to bubble and hiss, but neither of the two captains could be seen. “Is anybody alive?” asked Crooky, hopefully of the lava, “Have either of you made a miraculous escape allowing you to seemingly return from the grave at the eleventh hour?” There was still no answer. “That can’t be rig Tim-Lad part 19
by ~crookedjon

Tim-Lad part 18Chapter 18 – All’s fair…
“Danny, why are we here?” asked Gadsby, as they sat spying on the volcano. “Our journey is to lead us in there…” replied Danny, “I don’t know how I know that. Ever since that dream I’ve had this bizarre headache that wont go away.” The Chavian guards at the entrance to the cave finally nodded off as the sun set. “Now’s our chance!”
Captain Semenenko-Beard was awoken from his slumber by the opening of the cage doors. The lamplights cast a familiar silhouette over the remaining pirates. “Crooky! We thought they’d killed you.” Crooky stepped into the cell, and turne Tim-Lad part 18
by ~crookedjon

Tim-lad part 17Chapter 17 – Take me to your leader
The pirates continued to squat uncomfortably amongst the fronds at the edge of the jungle as Mally continued to regard the village of primitive huts through his telescope. “That’s odd… I can’t see any men anywhere…” mused Mally, stroking his chin, “Lithe, toned, scantily clad women be all I can see.” “I think I could be helping yee… arr… assess the situation,” said Doc Goodfield, motioning for Mally to pass the telescope. “No, that wont be necessary,” replied Mally, still looking through the telescope, “I think I got it covered.” “You’re hogging it!” moaned Mike, “Lemme Tim-lad part 17
by ~crookedjon

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Hmmmm... intriguing

Fri Jun 17, 2005, 1:56 PM

I see a pattern emerging.

Before 7:30
Jon is sleeping, no response to stimulus.

7:30 - 8:30
Jon's sleepy hour

8:30 - 9:00
Jon makes his way to school.

9:00 - 3:30
Jon is a school. Acting fairly hyperactively of late. This is a worrying trend :s

4:00 - 5:00
Jon is back home. Jon is very restless; he can't seem to stop moving. Guitar happens.

5:00 - 7:00
Jon's lazy hour, Jon will do nothing productive between these times.

7:00 - 9:00
Jon's creative hour. More guitar may happen, or alternatively, some more story may see the light of day.

9:00 onwards.
Jon seems to be depressed and craves attention. This always seems to happen around this time and to be quite frant he thinks it's quite pathetic.

Diagnosis anybody?

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Devious Info

Current Residence: Bristol UK
Interests: Many many things, nothing surprising
Favourite movie: Touching the void
Favourite band or musician: Led Zeppelin (favourite all timers) Bloc Party (Favourite contempory band)
Favourite genre of music: Rock (and stuff)
Favourite poet or writer: The Sp00n!
Favourite photographer: The one who sits in the bushes outside my house, and cyth0n (or are the one and the same?)
Favourite game: GTA San Andreas
Favourite cartoon character: Strongbad
Tools of the Trade: Guitar, PC... and various unholy unions between the two

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Comments

Flagged as Spam

~TheSp00n Dec 11, 2006, 5:55:57 AM

game

--
_{Verba volent, scripta manent}

~engranatenroses May 21, 2005, 7:20:30 AM

Thanks for the

on yer avatar

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G A L L E R Y
H O M E P A G E
Clubs I'm in? See my journal.

~crookedjon Jun 2, 2005, 1:53:23 PM

Tis no problem

~engranatenroses Jun 3, 2005, 12:17:52 AM

--
G A L L E R Y
H O M E P A G E
Clubs I'm in? See my journal.

~TheSp00n Mar 21, 2005, 8:44:59 AM

YOU HAVE BEEN CROWBAR'D

Spread the DA crowbaring around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

*thwapthonk* RULES:
1- You MUST bludgeon the one who bludgeoned you
2- If you wack them more than three times, it is just downright mean of you
3- You have a reputation as a mass crowbarin' madman. You MUST beat 7 other people
4- Let everyone else see the flying steel. Do it in public, where everyone can watch
5- Random attacks are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
6- What are you waiting for. Go beat 'em!

--
_{Words have no wings but they can fly further then forever}